FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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