I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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