Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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