What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
