I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
