I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
