a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
