Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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