Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
