if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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