i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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