I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
