It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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