Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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