i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
