They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
