She is in my trunk
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
