how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
