He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
