A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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