i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
