I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
