the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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