...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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