he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
