i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
