so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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