I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
