Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
