soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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