shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Randomize
