Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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