Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
