from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
