Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
