Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
