i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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