did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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