You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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