I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dick very happy bro
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
