I bet he comes in French.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
