gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
