that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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