TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
