I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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