I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
