I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
