he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
