Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
