She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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