I just saw a hot homeless man
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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