Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
