Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Let's get the cat blown out
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
