Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
This is classic penis vs brain.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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