I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
