I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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